What Your Musical Taste Says About Your Attachment Style

By | November 23, 2022

music lyrics song secure attachment style anxious avoidant anxious-avoidant mixed hot and cold unpredictable

You might be what you hearken to, apparently. Picture: Satoshi-Ok, Getty

It is no shock that individuals are inclined to hearken to songs that replicate what they are going by at any given time. You would possibly guess, for instance, that somebody who has Ariana Grande’s “thanks, subsequent” on repeat might be recent out of a breakup and doing fairly effectively, all issues thought-about.

A brand new research might clarify why that is the case. Within the research printed within the journal Private relationships, researchers on the College of Toronto discovered that individuals’s favourite music lyrics are inclined to match their attachment kinds. In accordance with Ravin Alaei, one of many research’s authors, which means that folks’s favourite relationship songs not solely replicate and validate their present ideas and emotions, but additionally reveal patterns current in a lot of their relationships.

In psychology, attachment concept means that the bonds folks kind with their caregivers of their early childhood years lay the inspiration for the way they construct different relationships later, together with romantic relationships. The speculation additionally means that there are predictable patterns in how folks navigate their relationships.

These patterns are referred to as attachment kinds, and there are 4 of them. Folks with a “safe” attachment model belief their companions, talk brazenly, and are typically in a position to construct wholesome, lasting relationships. These with an “anxious” attachment model typically have fears of rejection or abandonment, jealous tendencies, and a relentless want for reassurance. Folks with an “avoidant” attachment model might concern intimacy and place an immense worth on independence, and due to this fact have problem trusting and regarding others. These with an “anxious-avoidant” (i.e., “disorganized” or “blended”) attachment model are inclined to exhibit unpredictable and complicated behaviors that fluctuate like the topic of “Scorching N Chilly” from Katy Perry.

Researchers within the research requested about 570 folks what their favourite songs had been, then analyzed the lyrics of these songs to seek out the model of attachment they expressed. Additionally they requested individuals a collection of questions on their relationship experiences. After analyzing greater than 7,000 songs, the researchers discovered that individuals tended to favor songs with lyrics that matched their attachment kinds.

In accordance with the researchers, individuals with a safe attachment model appreciated songs like “I Bought You Babeby Sonny & Cher, “At Final” by Etta James and “I Love You” by the Plain White T’s.

These with an anxious attachment model appreciated songs like “Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cyrus, “Hotline Bling” by Drake, and “Each Breath You Take” by the police.

Folks with an avoidant attachment model listened to “No Scrubs” by TLC, “Take A Bow” by Rihanna and “The Hills” by The Weeknd.

These with an anxious and avoidant attachment model performed songs like “I am Not The Solely One” from Sam Smith, “Cannot Make You Love Me” by Bonnie Raitt and “Rolling within the Deep” by Adele.

The research additionally analyzed the lyrics of greater than 800 Billboard hits from 1946 to 2015 and located that the lyrics grew to become extra avoidant and fewer secure over time. In accordance with the research, this means that music lyrics “replicate societal developments of accelerating social disengagement”.

“Common music lyrics parallel sociological developments of social disconnection – folks worth independence over dependence on others and really feel extra remoted,” Alaei stated.

Music can in fact assist folks articulate, perceive and even course of their feelings, however the research signifies that it will possibly additionally preserve them caught on those self same feelings.

An anxiously connected individual might discover the lyrics “Nowadays all I do is / Marvel if you happen to’re going out of your method for another person / Marvel if you happen to’re rolling a Backwoods for another person / Do issues I taught you, get imply to another person” from Drake’s “Hotline Bling” for being “relatable content material”, however persevering with to narrate to the lyrics would possibly stop them from reply the telephone, if it rings once more.

Alaei steered that individuals be extra conscious of how the songs they hearken to have an effect on them.

“Hearken to the music a number of occasions that can assist you perceive what you’re going by and specific your ideas and emotions. You’ll be able to resolve whether or not listening to songs that replicate your experiences helps you or reinforces damaging behaviors for your self. Sooner or later, it’s possible you’ll discover it extra productive to hearken to music that gives a way of safety.

He additionally stated the following step in analysis is to find out whether or not listening to music with lyrics that carefully mimic folks’s relationship experiences helps or hinders folks’s relationship expertise.

Comply with Romano Santos on Instagram.